I need a voodoo doll

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I need a voodoo doll

I know a nice couple who bought a cute affordable house a couple of years ago. They're thrifty, always looking for ways to make money and save money, and didn't buy above their means. Due to job loss and a difficult birth that brought a huge amount of medical expenses, they were really struggling, but they hung in there.

Over the summer they were told that they qualified to have their mortgage reworked in order to avoide foreclosure. They were so relieved, because keeping their house was very important to them. It wasn't just a house, it was a home where they wanted to raise their young kids.

They scrambled to gather all the required paperwork, sent it into their mortgage company, and within a short time were given their new temporary lower monthly payment. It was nearly a third less, which meant that they would also be able to pay more toward the medical debt every month.

Of course BIG BANK, INC. needed tons more paperwork, because BBI likes paperwork. BBI needed to know their financial affairs, needed job and income information, and typical things like that. BBI also wanted IQ scores, bra sizes, and the number of toes on each child's foot, because BBI is very picky now that they're not allowed to just throw money away on bad mortages of a million dollars to the weird guy with an income of $160 a month that he doesn't even have to prove. Now BBI needs to know how many times their clients hearts beat per hour.

The couple understood BBI's need for papers, so they made 500 copies and shipped them to BBI. A phone drone at BBI said they had everything they needed and the modification should be sent out anytime. Instead the couple received a letter saying that their paperwork never arrived. The couple sent it again, but this time it was sent certified with a signature required. BBI said yes, we have your paperwork and the modification is about done. But then they said they received no paperwork. BBI can't get their act together.

BBI and the couple repeated this scenario monthly until just recently. BBI decided that since they never received the paperwork 6 times (with a required signature) they'd just go ahead and start foreclosure proceedings. The couple met with an attorney, but were told that at this point there isn't much that can be done, because obviously BBI is staffed with morons and crooks who have no interest in keeping people paying their mortgages. It's so much better to foreclose and auction the house for a quarter of what they're owed on it, and then have it sit empty for years, because not a lot of people are buying.

The couple was advised to stop paying and save as much money as they can until BBI kicks them out of the house. My neighbors managed to stay in their house for nearly a year without paying, so the couple could make quite a dent in the medical debt and save money at the same time. Plus, rent is cheap around here. They can probably get a great house on the river for half of their mortgage payment.

Every month when I write MY check to BBI, I think I'll pee on it before I put it in the mail.