Defending Ourselves Against the Stupid: 2010

Something is amiss.....

Other than the ridiculous trip I had to WalMart last night, there isn't ANYTHING I have to bitch about.

ODD. VERY ODD.

I'm wondering if I'm getting soft? Hmmmmm.....naaaaaaaaa!

I think I've been in such an incredibly good mood lately because I'm not working. Not that my job caused me undo amounts of stress, but DAMN it gave me plenty of material!!!!!!!!!

I'm just laying in wait to see what will get me goin' soon. Or maybe the copious amounts of meds I've been taking are finally kicking in!

HAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I even had a great dentist appointment today. Odd since I ALWAYS come home pissed off after seeing the dentist.

WHAT'S GOING ON???????

My Rant for Today....

Where to begin....where to begin?

I probably should've written this yesterday when I was super pissed-off. I'm not as pissed today and I'm wondering why?

Anyway, I just have a couple people to tell to fuck off today. Well, maybe a few! :-)

Stupid Fat Bitch who's job it is to dwell in her office cell without REALLY knowing what's going on and is the biggest liar.......FUCK OFF! You can also try a new hairstyle and scrap that 80's makeup.

Stupid Ugly-Ass Chipmunk who thrives on picking fights with children.....FUCK OFF! I hope one of them lays you OUT when you get in their face someday.

Stupid "Boss" who cares not about finding out the truth, just gets off on throwing employees into hostile situations and doesn't expect them to blow....FUCK OFF you neck-less, clothes too tight cuz you're fat and too cheap to buy new, BITCH! You seriously are in the wrong line of work.

Hmmmm, who else....

Oh ya!! To the stupid, egotistical walkin with a corn-cob up your ass MORON who's life ambition was to be a custodian.....FUCK YOU! HAHAHAHA! May you have many more happy years of changing lightbulbs, emptying garbages and scrubbing shit off of toilets. Let's not forget the cleaning up of puke too. HA! LOSER!

Ahhhhh, that felt MARVELOUS!!!

Carry on.....

I need a voodoo doll

I know a nice couple who bought a cute affordable house a couple of years ago. They're thrifty, always looking for ways to make money and save money, and didn't buy above their means. Due to job loss and a difficult birth that brought a huge amount of medical expenses, they were really struggling, but they hung in there.

Over the summer they were told that they qualified to have their mortgage reworked in order to avoide foreclosure. They were so relieved, because keeping their house was very important to them. It wasn't just a house, it was a home where they wanted to raise their young kids.

They scrambled to gather all the required paperwork, sent it into their mortgage company, and within a short time were given their new temporary lower monthly payment. It was nearly a third less, which meant that they would also be able to pay more toward the medical debt every month.

Of course BIG BANK, INC. needed tons more paperwork, because BBI likes paperwork. BBI needed to know their financial affairs, needed job and income information, and typical things like that. BBI also wanted IQ scores, bra sizes, and the number of toes on each child's foot, because BBI is very picky now that they're not allowed to just throw money away on bad mortages of a million dollars to the weird guy with an income of $160 a month that he doesn't even have to prove. Now BBI needs to know how many times their clients hearts beat per hour.

The couple understood BBI's need for papers, so they made 500 copies and shipped them to BBI. A phone drone at BBI said they had everything they needed and the modification should be sent out anytime. Instead the couple received a letter saying that their paperwork never arrived. The couple sent it again, but this time it was sent certified with a signature required. BBI said yes, we have your paperwork and the modification is about done. But then they said they received no paperwork. BBI can't get their act together.

BBI and the couple repeated this scenario monthly until just recently. BBI decided that since they never received the paperwork 6 times (with a required signature) they'd just go ahead and start foreclosure proceedings. The couple met with an attorney, but were told that at this point there isn't much that can be done, because obviously BBI is staffed with morons and crooks who have no interest in keeping people paying their mortgages. It's so much better to foreclose and auction the house for a quarter of what they're owed on it, and then have it sit empty for years, because not a lot of people are buying.

The couple was advised to stop paying and save as much money as they can until BBI kicks them out of the house. My neighbors managed to stay in their house for nearly a year without paying, so the couple could make quite a dent in the medical debt and save money at the same time. Plus, rent is cheap around here. They can probably get a great house on the river for half of their mortgage payment.

Every month when I write MY check to BBI, I think I'll pee on it before I put it in the mail.

Tax Documents

I must know....why the hell does it take so fucking long for companies to produce W-2s, 1099s and the like? I mean, it's all computerized so why can't someone just push a fucking button on January 1st and print all the shit out and mail it?!?!? The banks and investment firms are the worst offenders.

Are they retarded? Just want to make ya wait to do your taxes? I think it's insane!!! Let's just wait til the last friggin munute on January 31st before we push that button!

I could understand if it all had to be done by hand and people were working 24/7 to get information added up and accurate. But with today's technology there isn't an excuse for the delay.

Here I am chompin at the bits to get ahold of my paperwork so I can file for my refund. I think it's just cuz they want to torture me. ERRRRRRRRRRR!

SEE? Told ya so!

I have definately got a beef today. With a particular psycho fucking bitch who should NEVER be working in a school environment.

Now, this is nothing new to me. I watch this chipmunk spout off at kids all the time. For 2 1/2 years to be exact. Today, however, was so far out of line that even *I* stood in shock and awe at the shit flying out of her mouth. She was ranting and raving to the point her glasses fell off the top of her fucking head and she had to catch them before they hit the ground. I'm sure she's not happy with me...since I wasn't backing her up and was actually giggling at how ridiculous she looked.

What a fucking dumbass she is! How rude and inconsiderate she treats the kids!!!! Under normal circumstances...these kids CAN be and ARE pains in the ass. For some reason today she pissed me off to the point I was "saving" kids from her wrath by hiding them in the bathroom!!!! She was getting up in their faces even BEFORE they did anything wrong. I was infuriated!

What do you think would be the response of ANYONE, much less a 14 year old kid, to someone screaming and spitting LITERALLY 2 inches from your face? I know what MY reaction would be!!! STEP THE FUCK BACK BITCH BEFORE IT'S FORCED UPON YOU!

To the kids I couldn't get to in time.....I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I got your back tomorrow!

I will no longer sit back and let her instigate a fight, then march you to the office when you talk back. I just won't. That's IT. DONE.

Ya, I know....

I've been unusually quiet lately. Yep, it's true. Even *I* sometimes have nothing and nobody to bitch about.

Don't get used to it....it won't last long. It's rare I go for even ONE DAY without some dumbass or some dumb thing getting in my cross-hairs. The past few days have been different though.

Maybe it's because I've had nightmares for 3 nights straight, which have led to a SERIOUS lack of sleep, which led to the WORST FUCKING HEADACHE of my life, which led to me doing nothing but laying in bed with the blinds closed and TV off all day yesterday, which led to having no outside contact.....thus NO STUPID PEOPLE AND THINGS!

The Cost of Taking Pets to the Vet......

I absoutely fucking CRINGE at the idea of taking my animals to the vet. I know it will cost me an arm and a leg LITERALLY.

My kitty is ill. I take him to the vet to see what is wrong, thinking just some meds and we'll be on our way.

OH NO!!! He's VERY VERY ILL the vet tells me. I do believe him since I know kitty hasn't been feeling good. He proceeds to hand me an estimate of over 800 fucking bucks!!!! $800!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if I don't go through with the treatment, my kitty will certainly die within 2 days. Even WITH the treatment there is a chance he might not make it and pass away.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I start bawling my eyes out (ya, I know, but I love my pets). Not only do *I* start bawling, my SON starts bawling since he said that right in front of him too! I am crying and some bitch comes in to tell me about their payment plans, yada yada. Now, I can appreciate she's trying to help but I was crying and in no condition to discuss the finances at that point.

I eventually come to the conclusion that I just can't pay the fee for the treatment. I may have to put him to sleep I tell the vets assistant.

"Oh let me talk to the doctor and see what we can do to bring down the bill."

I'm still crying at this point holding my precious kitty. But then a lightbulb went off in my head. WHAT THE FUCK???? What if I had just said to go ahead and do what you have to do and I'll pay it? My sadness becomes RAGE!!!!!!!

The doctor comes in and says, we don't HAVE to do this...we don't HAVE to do that...blah blah blah. "We'll do what we can but he may still pass away."

So my $800 bill comes down to $250!!!!!!!!! I wanted to punch him in the fucking face!!!!!!!

It infuriates me how people with pets they love can be taken advantage of when faced with the option of losing their pet if the treatment isnt done.

I hate political parties calling me

This is totally fucked up. I mean, WHY are the Democratic National Party volunteers CALLING ME?

Well, first she nonchalantly asked for a donation of $100. Like I have $100 to piss away on that bullshit.

My response? "Well, I'm sorry....I don't donate to political parties." OHHHH NOOOOO she couldn't take that for an answer. She proceeds to ask for $75, then $50, then $25. Not taking NO for an answer, she finally says in a condescending voice, or more like I was a total cheap ass, "Well what CAN you give to help your democratic constituents? The ones who represent you and your best interests?"

Oh My GOD!! I was completely furious with this girl at this point.

Wanna know what I said? HUH? DO Ya?

"I wanna give them a kick in the ass for brainwashing poor young ladies such as yourself into calling people begging for money in probably the WORST economy we've had in my recent memory. THAT'S what I want to give them!!!!"

Silence on the end of the line......PRICELESS!!!!

SAD

I'm done with winter. Just fucking done. I don't want snow or rain or wind or cold. I don't want to wear layers and boots and fleece and hats and gloves. I don't want to scrape the car windows. I don't want to mop puddles off the laundry room floor when the kids come in from building forts. I don't want muddy dogs or frozen dogs. I'm sick to death of it getting dark at 5:00 - half an hour after the last kid gets off the bus. I'm tired of everything being brown and dead.

Please bring us summer, Mother Nature. I'm begging you.

Nothing inparticular

Nothing inparticular has me pissed or annoyed today. Well, alot of nothing does. I'm now going to whine about shit so if you don't want to hear my pity party....MOVE ON!

I'm sick of bitch-ass teachers and their fucked up ways of dealing with kids and concerned parents. I often wonder WHY people get into teaching who don't like kids? DUH!!! Oh ya, cuz they get paid summers off...that's why. I have my sights on one teacher who better PRAY she gets off my kid's shit this semester or else my motherly instinct to protect my young will kick in. It will be UGLY!!!

I'm also not too thrilled with only given a week's notice for Little League sign-ups. Seeing as though it's a small fortune in fees, one might think the average family would need to know far enough in advance in order to set the money aside. Now I'll have to hit the street corners for the next week to raise the fucking money in time for sign-ups!!!! RUDENESS!!!!!! I only have two kids in baseball. I feel so sorry for the families with more than that!

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the job situation in this country. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB FOREVER! I think over the past year I've sent my resume out to a million places who advertised needing help. Not ONE call. FUCK ME. Whoever said the economy is in recovery can bite my ass. Oh yes, they can also fucking pay to sign my kids up for Little League. They may as well put money in their lunch accounts, pay for their field trips and take them to the mall for the name brand clothes they can't seem to live without!

On a good note, I got my escrow statement with a new LOWER payment for the upcoming year!

I want to know why some people are able to bullshit and scam their way through life still come out on top and ahead of the game, while the rest of us working slobs that do the right thing are always the ones who get the short end of the stick???

I really wanna know, cuz I'm sick of being nice, and I'm sick of doing the right thing, and I'm sick of getting the short end of the stick.

It's fucking old already.

They say "What comes around, goes around", and that the big bad Karma always gets those who do unfair/unjust things, but I'm sick of waiting for Karma too. Karma takes too long, and I don't do wait. I'm more of an instant gratification sort of person.

I have something to say to somebody who is trying her best to scam me at the moment. I cannot actually say what I want to say to this person, so I will write a letter here on the blog that I will never send just to get it off of my chest.

Here goes.....

Whore who won't pay the rent,

I am sick of your bullshit excuses each month as to why the rent is late.

Pay your fucking bill on time, and pay it in full,. I don't give a flying fuck if your child support is late, you have no food, or that your car broke down. I am not Unicef, and I am not the Red Cross or the Salvation Army.
You can suck dicks to raise the money, or whore yourself out on the corner or to your hair clients for all I care.
There is a bar a few blocks down next to the gas station that has plenty of single, lonely men in it at all times, and I'm sure your services would be in high demand there.

A deal is a deal. I keep my end of the bargain, now keep yours. You may have been able to scam your way through your life up until now with your good looks and your Southern hillbilly accent, but the game is over.

We, in good faith let you out of your 3 year lease 2 yrs. and 8 months early, with the promise that you'd pay January's rent. Well, I cashed your check and guess what? It bounced.

I tried to call you but your cell phone is disconnected, probably because you're a fucking loser and didn't pay the bill. I had to get a hold of your daughter who is now living in my home taking over the remainder of YOUR lease, tell her the situation, and ask her to have you contact me regarding the payment.

You are not going to walk away scott free. I have no qualms taking you to small claims court and evicting your daughter in the next few weeks if I don't get my money.

You see, we had a legally binding agreement, and you broke it. I will win in court and will try to get all I can from you. Just so you know, the late fees for late rent are adding up as well, and you also owe me an additional $25.00 for the returned deposit fee I got from my bank from your bad check.

Don't make me take further action, because I will and you will lose.

Just pay your bill, and then you can scurry off like the rat you are and move on to the next victim.

Fuck you, you cunt. I hate you,

Flo

I have been surrounded

by nothing but stupid people thoughts and actions today! So much so, that I can't even pinpoint which one I want to bitch about more!!!!

For the first time I think EVER in my life.........

Stupid people have left me speechless!

Well, it's either that OR the drug-induced haze I am in after seeing the doctor for my fucked up fucking back!

Whichever is the cause matters not.

Stupid people have gotten off the hook for the day.

Dr. Spock didn't say anything about assholes

I don’t understand how teenagers survive to adulthood. They are complete assholes way too much of the time. I have one that is having huge tantrums because he doesn’t have a license or a car so he has to rely on me to take him everywhere. The fact that it is completely his own fault that he has neither is incomprehensible. Apparently my job as a mom is not to enforce consequences for stupidty, but rather I should be granting his every dream. It can’t be just any car either. It has to be a newer truck in excellent condition preferably lifted a few inches but not so far that he can’t roll his dirt bike up the ramp. It also must be at least an extended cab because a single row of seating would be so unfair. I’m pretty sure I’m required to pay his insurance and an endless supply of gas too, because it wouldn’t do to have to ration himself a bit, like maybe not driving 15 miles out of his way to look at a rock his friend found 6 years ago that might of rolled away but you never know. The fact that the economy sucks and we’re rebuilding the savings we lived on during 8 months of unemployment is not to be a factor. We should take on debt to give a 17 year old asshole the perfect truck and we should be fucking glad to do it. And while we’re at it, we should take away all curfew rules and homework rules and no beer until you’re old enough rules. I bet that we should even give him the entire house while the rest of us go live in the dog kennel in the uninsulated barn. We should continue to work our asses off to provide him with all the necessary comforts even though we’ve lost all our fingers and toes from living in the uninsulated barn. Maybe we should even add in a monthly whore stipend.

While I was typing this, the above snotty little shit called from the student union to be picked up from school. I told him I would be there in 20 minutes. I got up there and he wasn't outside. I drove way around in a big loop and parked and went inside to look for him. No kid. The whole asshole thing means he also doesn't get to have a cell phone, because phones are a privilege for non-assholes in this family. I drove back and forth through the campus until I finally found him. He got in the car and slammed the door and had a tantrum that would put a 2 year old screaming in Walmart to shame. Instead of waiting for me, he walked down the hill and I drove past him and it's all my fault, because I put that fucking roundabout there causing me to be looking in a different direction that the side of the street he was standing on, because I have the deciding power on where the city puts roundabouts. If I'd have known that, I'd put them all over the place just to mess with people.

Stupid people who actually are under the impression they are smart!

Oh my GOD I don't even know where to begin with this one!!! I actually had to defend myself against the STUPID today.

Just who's the dumbass who either leads stupid people to believe they are smart or is the grand liar of them all and TELLS people they are smart? I must know so I can smack them upside their heads!!!

This morning I encountered someone who obviously doesn't know me very well AT ALL. Or THINKS they do and are just TOO FUCKING STUPID to keep their mouth shut!!!

It took every ounce of my being not to let 'em have it and leave 'em in the fetal position crying in a corner. NOTE: I AM EVIL WHEN YOU PISS ME THE FUCK OFF.

EVIL I SAY.....EVIL!

This person obviously doesn't realize starting a war of words with me isn't such a wise decision. Seriously. I would have a hard time outsmarting MYSELF for that matter.

DUMBASS! Take your stupid self-proclaimed "intellectual" self to the corner please. But don't lean your head up against the wall, you might mark it with the grease in your hair.

Apple rant

This is my last post for the evening. I'm sure you're thinking THANK FUCKING GOD!

So, I'm pissed at Apple. I mean, I love my new Ipod but WHAT THE FUCK?

CAN'T THEY MAKE EARPHONES THAT DON'T DRIVE YOU CRAZY? I'm either a retard or these things just aren't comfortable...... Or maybe a little bit of both!

FML!!!! Everything has to come with it's complications or issues. Nuttin can be easy and enjoyable 100%!

People who don't do what they say they are gonna do.

Nothing on this God's green earth pisses me off more then people who don't do what they say they are gonna fucking do.

Promising this....promising that..... only to fuck you over in the end!!!!

I've been a crab ass all afternoon and without going into full details I am LIVID right now!

BASTARD!

I'm not feeling creative or funny right now and it sucks. I just wanna put my size 6 1/2 up someone's ASS so far they will taste the food off the cafeteria floor from work today!!!

YUM-O! Oh and BTW hot wings were on the menu!!!

Dumb and rude friends at the store.

I was in SUCH a fucking hurry yesterday when I had my running to do. Not that it is anything new since I am late for everything it seems. I swear the only place I will be on TIME is my own funeral...only because someone else will be in charge of that.

Anyway, I had to run to the gas station, grocery store and to pick up my kid from his friends house. All had to be done by 6:45 because I had to make it to Best Buy before 7:00. Mind you, I left the house at 6:00! HA!

So I hop in the car and get to the gas station and grocery store in what I THOUGHT was an amazingly quick time. Until I get to the dairy section of the store. It's basically in the DRUG STORE side of the grocery store. BTW, who's dumbass idea was that?

However, I digress...

As I am grabbin my milk I hear... "Hey! Whats up? Haven't seen you in a while!" Normally, this would be a great thing! I love running into friends and chatting, WHEN I'M NOT IN A FUCKING HURRY! I respond politely, "Oh doing great! How are you? I'm just doing some quick running cuz I gotta make it to Best Buy by 7:00."

It is now 6:20 and I am sweating bullets cuz I still gotta check out, load my shit up AND go pick up the boy yet!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of said friend letting me be on my way, she proceeds to fucking TALK AND TALK...6:25 comes and goes and I'm getting ready to BLOW! THANK GOD FOR THE PHARMACY WHO CALLS OUT HER NAME!

I did make it to Best Buy before 7:00 but only by the hair on my chinny chin chin.

In closing, those of you who run into people at the store who say they are in a hurry....LET THEM THE FUCK GO!

I'm annoyed this morning

I can't help but get pissed off when I am the only person who seems to care about the condition this house is in.

It's the weekend....I dont work weekends! It's also apparent nobody else around here does either. Unless their job is to destroy my house...............

Guys who can't hit the toilet when they take a piss REALLY get on my nerves. Do they think some fucking fairy is coming in at night and cleaning the house? Wiping the pee off the toilet rim? Doing their laundry?

Listen up boys, unless you want the lady of the house to go on strike CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR FUCKING SELF! Replace the toilet paper when you use the last of it to wipe your nasty ass. Pick your dirty clothes up off the fucking floor! Put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher for crying out loud!!!!

Better yet, MOVE THE FUCK OUT and I'll never have to be concerned with these matters in the future! :-)

Farting housemates

I don't get it, I really don't. Why must everyone in this house fart like a fucking pig? It's supposed to be OK too..... With the exception of me. *I* am not allowed to fart. EVER. Because it's not LADY-LIKE! Ummm, OK.

The dogs are the worst offenders as of late. One of them just let one RIP, kinda looked over at his ass, sniffed and is like...WHATEVER! HAHAHAHAHA!

On my piss me off list

I am really fucking sick of terrorists.

Now I can't even go to an airport without looking at every guy's crotch and wondering if he has a bomb in his underwear or if he's just happy to see me. Thanks to dumbass underwear bombers, pretty soon the only way people will be able to get on a plane is by undergoing full body probes. That is not something I need to see when I'm already in the travel hell known as stuck in security.

You come here with your bombs, because we're evil westerners. Well, fuck you. You claim to need your bombs because your religion tells you to kill us? So basically you're fucking the whole of your religion, because the 99.999% of a particular religion that are normal get lumped into loserville with you. Why the fuck do you think you get to choose for the rest of the world? Stupid little man with your stupid little blown off penis.

It's not just the Islamic fundamentalists perverting the Koran either. There's always some new cult in the hills of some inbred backwater place that claims to have found a passage in the bible that people that don't believe just like they do deserve to die for not being proper Christians.

And these people are breeding and teaching their children this horrible hatred for their fellow human beings. They're teaching their children that it's okay to murder other people in the name of God. Poor God is sitting up there wondering how the fuck He created so many stupid, stupid people.

Shame on you for making God cry.

Old people should NOT be allowed to fucking drive!!

So as I am being a taxi driver to my oldest spawn, this 100 year old man pulls right out in fucking front of me! Has the BALLS to have a shocked and appauled look on his face when I flip him off and wail on the horn. I think he may have even read my lips as I said "What the fuck old man!"

Yes, I will even give an old man the bird! Any thoughts on what the legal age limit should be for driving?

Ok so....my eldest child

With whom I love dearly, but don't actually LIKE is driving me INSANE right now. It appears as though the whole fucking world revolves around his skinny little ass!!!! Mom's busy and he's up in my grill sayin' "MOOOOOOM take me to Randy's, like NOW!"

What the fuck is wrong with kids nowadays? Can't he see I'm happily bogging away?

Dear Botox Bimbo,

Your mama should have worn a condom, because she failed spectacularly at raising a functioning human being.

Just because you whored yourself out to some old man so he'd buy you a Hummer doesn't mean you should be behind the wheel. The road is for everyone. I'm sorry all that silicone in your boobs exploded and leaked into your brain, but you still have to follow the rules. That red sign with eight sides means that you have to stop. So does that red light. I don't appreciate nearly being creamed because you didn't learn your colors in kindergarten.

I'm sure that in Idiotville, you are the queen and the most important person around, but in Realityland, that fucking Blackberry stuck to your face just makes you pathetic. People with only one brain cell should use that cell for paying attention to the road. Cackling with the Bimbo Posse means that you don't see the little kid in the crosswalk or the little old lady trying to push her walk through the parking lot.

It's pretty sad when the only hope for world survival depends on your hair bleach leaking up through your crotch to your brain and poisoning you until you can't drive.

Fuck you,

Delilah

FINALLY!

Welcome ladies!

Defending Ourselves Against the Stupid